Saturday, January 19, 2019

Chronicling my cancer journey

Last November I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer, it appeared as if time had slowed and then got faster, variety of emotions,  feeling out of control in regards to countless test, touched by so many practitioners, surgery, and then treatment. 

Throughout the entire process of treatment I wrote down my experience looking back at my notes it seemed I was reliving the entire circumstance again but it didn't sadden me I applauded myself that I pushed on and endured it truth of the matter I didn't have a choice. I didn't read or work on my drafts I had so many days I was so sick from the side effects of chemo, and I think being sick played a huge role of writer's block I couldn't think clearly. I was fortunate to have a solid support system and also online support groups of women and men that also experienced cancer as well.

I am six months in remission and although I do get scared about cancer returning I must live, it took me  awhile to get to this point it feels great to get back to the things that make me happy such as writing and continuing my dream, getting cancer truly made me look at life different--I appreciate the simplistic things in life I don't take things for granted and getting cancer I feel it was a sign to slow down prior to cancer I consumed myself in work, I worried what people thought about me, stressed about finances, my kids etc. All that has changed I feel getting cancer enabled me to be a better version of me, for the first time I am comfortable in the skin I am and looking at my scars from my mastectomy I appreciate the beauty of my scars.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

When will it be me

Its that time of year at the Elementary school I work at is gearing up for the annual book fair, I must admit I am generally more excited than the kids so many books, the smell of new books I am the type of writer that is not restricted by particular genres. I love reading Children and Young Adult books as such I write in these genres along within the adult t genre, with a strong emphasis of coming of age love, falling in and out of love and heartbreak love stories and NSFW stories. I am experiencing once again when will it be me and then that quickly turns into it won't be me because I have to yearn my dream more desperately I have to find the time in the day to squeeze editing or writing a new story its not enough to keep dreaming I really want to be a traditional published writer even though I am aware of the pro's and con's of an authors life.

So I have changed my thought and when I enter the elementary school library I will appreciate the authors that continue to pave the way persistence, perseverance will come to writers like myself who put in the effort, no writer has ever talked about writing being a smooth effort its grueling based on the variety of emotions and to be fair I haven't written enough drafts of my adult novel yet because I haven't said "I can't think of no other way to revise." There is hope for me yet.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Writing, grief, and new beginnings.

I'll start off by saying that although my writing routine slowed down after my spouse passed I have began to slowly write, whether its jotting down idea's that come to me all hours of the day, usually the wee hours at night, and I have recalled a few dreams relating to the latest WIP I am working on.

I have also been reading plenty of books in a variety of genres most recent a YA called Everything, Everything and so glad that the movie followed which stuck close to the book, but what I really liked was the diversity which the author Nicola Yoon was part of the diverse books movement, and also the author was born in Jamaica and that's inspiring for me as a aspiring author. So I hope 2017 will continue be a year in which I work hard on my WIP's and hope for the best, writing a great book takes time and its comforting to come to a place in which I am okay with not rushing and enjoying the process in which I can control.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Beloved spouse

On November 14th 2015 life slowed down
you had slowed down and then the last breath of life left you
you had given the fight of your life.
you left so many that loved you but the choice wasn't yours and we have to accept it wasn't our choice either.

Needing answers that would never come all that is left is the memories
to comfort me to shake me out of a slumber that I dread to take

November 14th 2015 life slowed down
you slowed down and took your last breath
I remember your eyes, I remember your tears

I will always remember you.

Dedicated to my husband who is watching me and his girls until we meet again.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

I think I can....

I am in the thick of rewriting, my adult novel (erotica) and also outlining an epic science fiction my second the first I did in 2010 and have not looked at it again.

*waves* checking in.

Its been a crazy few months juggling university and writing, wait this was my update few months ago so I guess its not really a new checking in, but I am happy to pass on my epic fantasy outline is concluded and I am eager to begin writing on a new page. 

Also my adult novel I am almost finished second round of revision and also I cannot wait to move on on the third revision/rewrite for each draft I set a goal what I want to achieve all the drafts will include rewrites but for the first one I worked on high-lightening all my adjectives/adverbs some I had to leave because it made sense for the dialogue or the scene. 

I also utilize a self-editing checklist for fiction writers I found this list years ago and it has proven useful in organizing how the mss is polished. 

I also decided paying for an editor is costly so I will work hard and read plenty of books to help me do my own self editing I believe that I can do so. Also I decided to participate in nanowrimo as I write my new YA and hope one day this dream will become a reality as always happy writing.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Writing is another career if you want it to be

Its March 2015 and I have been having thoughts lately of feeling as if I have failed myself, in my mind and dreams I should be published, but the reality always resurfaced I slacked off and unconsciously writing became a hobby rather than a serious focus which saddened me.

 I think I also lost the focus how to make juggling work; as of late I am pursuing my degree, being a mom to two beautiful girls a nine year old and a fourteen year old , and working full-time is very difficult to juggle along with pursuing my writing dream in addition a challenging situation I continue to deal with. Truthfully at that moment I had to take a pause on many things in order to deal with that matter but the issue is stabilizing itself and I feel I have a brighter perspective and ready to  make a career of my aspiration to get an agent and published.

 I decided to stop belly aching so to speak and juggle my task better, I love Facebook and other social media for the purpose of learning new ideas relating to writing and I was fortunate one day to see calendar how she juggles school, exercise and her publishing commitments  and that was the starting point for me to be focused on my writing career, which was a huge motivator when stickers are involved I love stickers. Writing 500 words per day has helped me take the edge off so to speak because I am no longer dreaming of  unrealistic things I am setting goals of firstly rewriting one novel at a time and also coming to terms that the first novel I had written needed more editing and also  longer period of time in which I do not look at it because I focused for too long it was the novel that was going to get me an agent and  it may be but truthfully only a few authors have had that awesome experience but later acknowledged they were lucky because the book was not their best even though it sold really well. I also realized to pursue a writing career I must read more often and not only authors I adore but a variety of authors in a variety of genres although romance is still my number one genre. So the focus is to follow my calendar and at the end of the month I will get a sense what took more of my time lately many stickers were for school less on exercising and less on writing because school is taking up much of my time due to assignments, but the days that I have extra time to write I feel great the novel I am currently rewriting is at the 70K mark my aim is for 90K and when I begin the reread/rewrite process again I hope to stay within that range. I will also begin my work out routine working out helped me because it did decrease my stress and improved my self-esteem. I feel more determined and eager to accomplish my writing goals.

Below Victoria Scwab explains the calender/sticker for writing

Happy Writing.

Chronicling my cancer journey

Last November I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer, it appeared as if time had slowed and then got faster, variety of emotions,  ...