Stress, reflections and writing

So I have hit a rather unfortunate snag in my writing nope its not writers block its stress,the type of stress that seemed to be dimming my many characters voices and that has angered me. I have been enduring a rather difficult situation at work and the stress revolves around the fact I cannot control the outcome--the outcome for me would be to eliminate the situation, to look at individuals who I felt wronged me and block them out so much so it'll seem like I don't know them. I realize that will never happen because its not realistic what is realistic is that I have to roll with the punches so to speak and deal with it, and deal with it means getting on with my life and in time it'll work out for itself. The truths that I am learning from my recent circumstances are as follows. 1. How people interpret what I do what I say is out of my control What is within my control is how I respond which hasn't been the most positive because I have let my anger get the best of me. 2. Its okay to let my guard down Trust is super important to me and I presume for many people that is also important but what I realize is that once I let down my guard I am at risk to get hurt so I can either live in a shell and only let the people I feel safe within my comfort zone or realize although I will get hurt I have to be optimistic that other people that cross my path will be good people. 3. Its okay to not be liked This reflection was difficult for me I use humor many times to hide my discomfort in social situations because my personality is more of a home body anyways as a writer whose pursuing the difficult dream of getting agent and published I realize many times I will judged by my writing; by critique partners/beta readers freelance editors agents/editors etc and majority of time those individuals may not get my writing and that is okay because it will not reflect who I am as a person so the key is to separate the two which is easier said than done. In conclusion writing is is part of me its been long gone from the outlet I utilized to deal with stress and merged to an actual job, a goal that I will persevere at until I get the results that I want which is to be published via the traditional way. Its fitting I write this post as the new year creeps closer, so my goal for 2013 other than getting a agent/published is to learn to deal with my stress better and realize the world I share with includes some people that will hurt me or have values that does not mesh with my values, and I must decide whether I want that hurt or differences in values consume me to the point I cannot focus on my writing or look at it the sensible way which is I am only in charge of me and also I am only human and will learn to be a better person based on my experiences.

Christmas short story

"Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word" Luke 1:38 My mother tucked me in bed, and then opened the book, she's going to read me the story about Mary, during the Christmas holidays I hear this story a lot at church, I snuggled more within the blanket, and focused on mom. She began that the angel Gabriel came to Mary, who thought she was dreaming, the angel told Mary it wasn't a dream and told her about her destiny. I began to drift off in thought about angels I wonder if angels have huge white wings, I watched a super hero movie that had angels, sometimes I wish I was a angel; an angel of the lord, cuz I would travel around the world and help the needy. Mamma, stopped reading and cleared her throat, my mother is like a super hero as if she can read my thoughts, right now the way she’s looking at me with her soft blue eyes; they are so calm even when I do the most naughtiest things. “Mama, I am listening.” I pouted. She smiled, and then began where she had left off, the angel told Mary about her destiny that her child will be Jesus. “Jared, Mary did not think twice she wanted Jesus and accepted that she will have a precious son.”I started to drift off again, my mother is the strongest women I know, I don’t have a father and mom never spoke about him, it’s just been us and I began think about my mother and Jesus mother, my mother has loved me from the moment she laid eyes on me, I know this because she never forgets to tell me, sometimes when I don’t clean my room, or forget to walk the dog, she reminds me a lot which sends me scurrying to clean my room, spic -and -span and take the dog out on a super duper long walk. “Mary accepted, she never questioned the angel, she accepted her fate.” Mama continued. Along their travels Joseph and Mary come upon a man that offered them a place to rest, it is there history was proclaimed. When I think about my mother I wouldn't change a thing, I am eight years old and I have made a promise too, I’ll protect my mother, and never forget to tell her everyday…especially the days I am not my best; that I love her with all my heart, you want to know a secret no matter what I do mamma… she always forgives me and then we bake the best chocolate chip cookies in all of Toronto. My mother loves me the same way Jesus loves us all, I think God gave us all mothers after creating the whole world and the universe he needed mothers to take good care of their children—his children. I hugged my mother, and tell her how much I love her, she lightly kissed me on the cheek and without saying any words I know that she loves me… well not the same as the way she loves the lord…but a close second. The End **I wrote this story for my church it is still a rough draft but I thought since its almost Christmas it seemed fitting to showcase my first short story, I never thought I could write one.

Managing life

Just finished clearing away the cob webs from my ole blog lol, I have been so immersed in work and lack of sleep which I have concluded will never fully be achieved any time soon, so a brief fill in so to speak, I am currently outlining a YA urban fantasy novel that will be epic in the sense of the world building a fair bit of mythological creature that I like. When I write YA books I always use a theme or an issue that teens struggle with for example my first book had theme of bullying, another theme i use often is love conquers all, man against beast man against self. So that's what I have been up to, also I have written six novels from 2009-2012 and I am glad that i finally took the pressure off getting an agent/published and focused on writing and that doesn't mean I have giving up my goal of getting published it just means I am not thinking about that all the time.

Tagged I'm it.

The lovely Eliana Grace tagged me when I am done revising my latest chapter I will showcase an excerpt.

War

I recently found few poems that I had written, I stopped writing poetry because so much was going on at the time finishing college, next becoming a new mother, 2009 I began writing novels that end at 100K and haven't looked back, but I thought it would be fun to show a sample of my two favorite poems I wrote. Alone © Keisha Martin 1997 Here I sit all alone My fingers clenched coldness seeps through my bones. I start to wonder I start to see why there was no one left aside from me The world is cold hungry with fear I wish I had someone near, cradled my body in a ball I take my last breath and give in to the loneliness. That's it I wrote this poem when I was a teen, I wish I could time travel and see my younger self and figure out what was going on when I wrote that poem. Tears Of War © Keisha Martin War how vivid it be The redness of lost souls stains the midnight skies, The children weep but not for long, their hearts frozen forever The cruelness astonishing as can be Woman cry and hold their womb They would not see their precious ones The stillness of the night, leaves a mystery A nation destroyed on the mercy of the innocence When will the tears end and laughter roar, when will the green grass blow again in the hot summer sun When will all men be treated as one When.

Woes of changing things...like the ole blog

I have come to realize I am the type of person that needs to change things. One of which is my home... well that's more a stress reliever thing, anyways changing my blog has become a habit I change my blog sometimes more than I actually write on the blog, but the problem with change things don't always work out to better than the former change. For example I changed the design which I love thanks to people that enable free backgrounds anyways I hit a snag when all my lovely side pics, etc were sent to the bottom and I spent hours trying to figure out the layout issue so I have given up and perhaps when I am less frustrated I will figure it out so I hope you the reader will enjoy my blog background and now to write whilst I battle my flu.

K.M. Jackson

I am so excited to introduce K.M. Jackson, who I met about a year ago via twitter there are many attributes that I like about K.M. Jackson but the main one is how genuine she is to her fellow writers, K.M. is positive and offers motivation to others when she announced her book deal I was so happy for her because its well deserved for a great person. So enough of my chatter take it away K.M. Jackson. Thanks so much for having me here today Keisha to talk writing and THROUGH THE LENS. My first thought upon seeing your questions was, wow, tough questions! But I hope I can do them justice and give your readers something to go on or at least an opportunity to say, that K.M. is a piece of work maybe I should pick up her book. LOL. So now to the questions… Here goes. Describe your path to publication? What were the highlights and stumbles along the way? My path to publication has not been a straight one. I always tell people that as a kid I always had two “when I grow up” dreams. I guess both my dreams came from mostly living half my life in my own little “dream state” of having my nose buried in either a fashion magazines or a romance book. I went from being a science and math geek in high school to a fashionista and attending FIT for college. Then I spent years in the not quite so glam world of New York fashion. After 10 years designing for New York houses (and then losing my perfect caregiver for my twins) I left that world to be a stay at home mother. Not long after (with a few tries a various freelancing endeavors. Yes, that was me with the nametag organizing your closet.), I started to pursue my 2nd dream to be a being a writer. And bam! 10 short years later and 6 or it could be 7 manuscripts later (I may have blocked 1 out) and more rejections than I would ever dare count I’m finally debuting my first romance THROUGH THE LENS. Clapping here is allowed. What were the challenges? The challenges were getting back to the page and writing after yet another rejection. As I said above and it’s really no joke there were yes, more rejections than I could count and more near misses. So many of the ‘oh you are so close’ and ‘please think of us and send us your next work’ letters. Well, I’ll tell you, I think I wanted to scream more at those than the flat out rejections at times. It was like, why won’t someone just put me out of my misery? Why string me along with this just give it one more try stuff? But you know what? I did give it one more try and kept giving it one more try and still do to this day. I guess I always will. It’s my never say die make up. As writers we are always up for criticism and possible rejections and my constant challenge is fear and the blank page. I have to always tell myself to just give it one more go. That the next work may be better and it may be that “yes” that I’ve been waiting for. Besides I have to live the words I tell my kids every day. What is at the heart of the enduring appeal of romance, for reader? Now this was the tough one. I think that this is a broad question and people may read romance for many different reasons. I know that I do at different times of my life. Sure, I can easily break it down and say they are there for the happily ever after but it may not be as easy as that. I think the romance reader is a lot more complex than just the happily ever after and they are there for more. The developing stories and the interesting characters, the high emotions and yes, the chance to for a while escape to another world. I know, for me, it all depends on my mood at the time and where I want to go in that moment to get the emotional story satisfaction that I’m looking for. What advice do you have for beginning writers? My advice for the beginning writer would be to keep writing. And then write some more. That “No writing is wasted” saying (that I’ve long hated) turns out to be true. The more you write the better you get and the more you learn to trust yourself and your voice. Happy Writing! Well at least as happy as your mood can make it on any given day. Just get to the page and write. That will make you happy. Thanks so much once again for having me here today Keisha. It’s been a real pleasure. And now a bit about THROUGH THE LENS available now from Crimson Romance Mika Walters is a normal woman working in the not so normal world of New York Fashion. As long time assistant to uber sexy photographer Alejandro Vargas she’s tired of being the girl in the background. Just once she wants Alejandro to look at her with the same smoldering look he gives to his willowy models and now she has her chance. Stranded. After a travel mishap where the rest of the crew and the models can’t make the remote location shoot for another three days Mika is taking her moment to catch Alejandro’s eye and put herself in front of Alejandro’s camera and if all goes to plan, his bed… at least until the real world catches up with them. Alejandro doesn’t know what’s gotten into Mika maybe it’s the sand, maybe it’s the sun, but he doesn’t really care. All he knows is that he’s finally opened his eyes and is seeing her clearly for the first time as the smart, gorgeous and incredibly irresistible woman she is. But why can’t she realize that what he’s feeling for her is not one of his usual one, well, three night stands? This is real. Real love, real passion. What’s it going to take for him to prove to Mika that she’s the woman he wants? Now and forever. available from Amazon Barnes & Noble iTunes K.M. Can be found on here blog twitter