October 26th 2010 I decided to go on a query hiatus to polish my novel, it was a gruelling decision I felt like I was giving up, I was defeated, but then I realized I had not enabled myself to learn, to hone the craft of writing a good enough novel.
I went to my local library and got all the books I could get on writing, then purchased a few books, the best book I got so far that has been giving me plenty of knowledge is WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL by Donald Maass. Funny story when I was querying every agent because I was so eager and was still in a fog that I knew what I was doing, I queried Donald I don't blame him for my swift rejection reading his book I know why now. In addition, to feeding my knowledge about writing I acquired a new editor and learned a horrible lesson research,is so important not just for agents/publishers but editors too,finding a editor that one: loves your story and is a good person that wants your success and not your money.
In addition I got critiqued by the amazing Roni Loren she enabled me to see my first five pages with fresh eyes so to speak and I was able to acknowledge I was not ready to query because my novel was not organized well, the plot had so many holes, the momentum lagged and other issues, I made the typical mistake beginner writers make querying too soon.
I also connected on twitter which is a blessing and a curse I get to meet talented authors, writers and agents but it is addicting so its another thing I have to balance or else I wouldn't get any writing done.
I also let myself take deep exhale and stop freaking out about getting an agent I do want that but however long it takes my first priority is polishing my manuscript, the journey is rough no doubt about it but I can't see myself not writing so if that is the glimmer of hope that keeps me going I will run with it and hope it leads me to my dream coming true, and all I can do as well is be myself no matter what happens.